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Peace Within a Grieving Heart

JM Perez By JM Perez2 min read673 views

Early this afternoon, the mail man delivered a special package. Inside this package were some souvenirs Mom brought back from her recent trip to Cameroon and France. I have been looking forward to seeing its content, even though I wasn’t sure how I would react and how it would impact my current state of mind. One is never too prepared for what to expect in life. Today, after fifteen years, I got to see my sister’s beautiful face before her final rest. I remembered all the little details on that treacherous Saturday morning of May 2nd, 1998.

For the first few days following her burial, I looked at her pictures every night after prayers and before going to sleep. I couldn’t find peace and rest the night I skipped the routine. Her still images were a tremendous source of comfort and I was so grateful that she could bring so much peace within my grieving heart. Some days I would be at peace with the facts and during others, a flow of sorrow would come upon me unexpectedly.

Photo credit: Brad Browne.
Photo credit: Brad Browne.

Going through a damaged and incomplete album this afternoon, I was overcome with anger. How could those entrusted with its safekeeping allow it to be exposed to the elements and others, since there are pictures missing. I had to calm myself down and remember that everything I need is indelibly imprinted on my mind. Nothing and no one can take away the memories of a loved one or the truth I’ve come to know. Today I wept, felt anger, laughed and experienced once again the peace that comes from acceptance and letting go.

My heart goes out to my Mother and I will live the rest of my life doing right by her, God being my helper.

We must all face loss at some point in Life. When it happens:

  • Give yourself plenty of time to grief. As long as you’re not planning on harming yourself or someone else, there’s no right or wrong way to grief. Deal with it your own way.
  • Talk about it. Reach out to someone you trust and open up.
  • Seek professional help when needed. Get some support to help you get through it.
  • Be gentle with yourself. It happened and nothing you do now will turn back the clock.
  • Strive to find joy and the will to carry on. Start by recalling the good memories and building on them.

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” — William Shakespeare

Happy Independence Day

JM Perez By JM Perez1 min read525 views

“Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.” ― Dwight D. Eisenhower

Image Source: Phatory.net
Image Source: Phatory.net

From our house to yours: Happy 4th, everyone. Wishing you all a blessed Independence Day with Family and Friends. Be safe out there and enjoy your long holiday weekend.

Being Accountable

EPEngineer By EPEngineer2 min read749 views

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”― Mahatma Gandhi

This morning after trash pickup, I heard music coming from my next door neighbor’s front porch. With temperatures soaring lately, I’ve stayed indoors mostly. Since I was outside, I decided to check on him. We talked, we laughed and we talked some more. As we stood at our property boundary, my neighbor handed me a piece of paper with his new phone number written on it. He said he let an acquaintance used the phone to make a quick call and she drove off with it. He’s lost his laptop as well as other electronics in the same manner.

My neighbor is a good man who needs attention and he is honest about it. He is a compulsive shopper. He is very disorganized, which causes him to forget where he left items; therefore, when he needs an item he is forced to purchased another set. Every now and then we will help him organize/declutter his garage and label all his tools. It’s never enough. He keeps buying and some keeps disappearing. He lets people use his tools and equipments without supervision and give full access to his tenants. I told him that he had no one else to blame but himself.

Image Source: LifeQuotesCollection.com
Image Source: LifeQuotesCollection.com

From the moment they started talking, I have been teaching my children Accountability.
They know that for every action, there’s a consequence. They understand the concept of ‘reaping what you sow,’  fighting fair and always striving to do the right thing.

  • When you shoot something up, expect it to fall down
  • When you give, give freely and don’t expect anything in return
  • Remember that loving someone doesn’t guarantee they will love you back
  • Do no use others for your personal gain
  • Guard your thoughts and watch your mouth
  • Nurture good habits
  • Don’t tell your secrets and hope they’ll remain secret: words have a way of getting out
  • Don’t look down on others and expect them to assist you in times of need
  • Even the smallest decision can have huge impact in your life
  • Be accountable for your own actions
  • Wrong doings tend to find you in the darkness

With this in mind it is always a good idea to offer everyone your good side and always smile kindly. There will be times when a stern word or two must be used, but remember that words tend to come back and hunt you. As a society we learn every day and we must navigate it carefully and truthfully with our best intentions always in mind.

Family On My Mind

JM Perez By JM Perez2 min read679 views

It’s hot today and as of now, it’s above 99° Fahrenheit. Added to that it’s windy. Imagine steeping out and feeling a wave of hot air in your face. For a moment I almost forgot how hot it gets here in the High Desert and it’s only the beginning. Lovely day, dreadful weather. The laughter and beautiful sounds coming from the playroom transport my mind to a familiar place and for a few moments, I catch myself daydreaming. Reliving in my mind some wonderful moments we shared in Douala. How I love and miss my siblings.

I had a wonderful conversation with my Mom today and it felt good. It felt really good. She just got back home after spending a month in Cameroon and two weeks in France with my brother and his family. It was a much-needed vacation for her and she enjoyed the break. She returned feeling all rejuvenated, energized and revitalized. It felt good talking to my big Brother too; it felt really good. Everyone is in very good spirit and nothing else matters. As much as she enjoyed her vacation, she is happy to be back in the midst of her children and grandchildren and looking forward to do the things she enjoys the most.

Image Source: Willow Tree.com
Image Credit: Willow Tree.com

Family is the source and the foundation. Family is the ‘make’ or ‘brake.’ Family is created to withstand the test of time. Family is everything and if there’s anything meaningful I’ve learned in Life, it’s never to take anyone for granted as life can end abruptly. When down on your knees, broken inside, alone, lost, confused and without clear direction; Family will lift you up and nurture you back to health and back on your feet. Family will remind you where you are coming from, where you have been and will question you on your future goals.

Wishing you all great moments with your loved ones.

Happy Father’s Day

JM Perez By JM Perez1 min read798 views

“There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father’s love for his child.” — King Osric (Conan the Barbarian).

Happy Father's Day. Image Source.
Happy Father’s Day.

“Being a father is a choice. Staying true to fatherhood is a duty.” ― Joan Ambu

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful Dads out there!