Love

“Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins.” ― 1 Peter 4:8 (NAB)

A few years ago I received a ‘forward message’ in the mail. I greatly dislike forward messages which I never read pass the titles and I personally do not send such emails to others. This particular message moved me. I am sure I was bound to read; so I did and I kept it. I can’t remember who I received it from, but I am glad I read it. I am sharing it with you today given that it compliments my thoughts on the current topic.

The Nail in the Fence There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.” A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Acceptance begins with self-love. To love oneself is to acknowledge that we are unique and therefore, different. We may feel and live things which are irrational to others, but real to us. Still, those are our emotions and moments which we guard defenselessly. We need to recognize that we live in a World full of individuals we may or may not get along with or particularly like for countless reasons. We are probably unlikable ourselves, but that’s beside the point. We need to reconcile with the fact that these individuals have as much rights to be here as we do. We need to accept their presence, adjust to the many differences and learn to live peacefully.

Our differences are both what divide us and what make our strengths. There’s hardly anything new to learn from an individual with similar vision as us and so much to acquire from someone different. It’s our right to be cautious around others; but it’s unfair to hold someone’s mistakes as an excuse to love and/or assist them.

Dissent is one of the main causes of hatred. When you reject someone, be it openly or secretly, they feel it. No one can fake a genuine smile and a good heart is transparent. Unlike the tone of the voice which can be controlled; we cannot fake the true nature of our hearts. What’s the point then of disliking and rejecting others? Does having those individuals out of our lives make us bigger or better? Does it take our pain away? Does it solve our issues? Words are powerful and people never forget how we made them feel.

So, my dear readers and fellow citizens, let’s strive to be more tolerant, more loving, more forgiving, more generous, more patient. As Mahatma Gandhi simply put it, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind;” therefore, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”