The days are beautiful, but I cannot say the same for the weather which has been quite cold lately. We have had cloudy days with light rain and lots of wind for days at a time; thankfully, the High Desert weather forecasts sunny days ahead. Until then, I am keeping busy indoors.
Strangely today I miss our majestic Sweet Almond tree which by this time, would have been covered with showy clusters of white flowers. It was the perfect size and provided much needed shade for that part of the front yard, and it was so sad to lose it. Three years ago we bought a pair of medium size Purple Leaf Cherry Plum trees and planted them in the front yard garden; the location is perfect as we can enjoy the view from the kitchen and living room windows. These trees are always the first to bloom in early Spring and we hope to enjoy many more years gazing at these beauties.
One of our many American Elm trees has its branches covered in clusters of light green fruits. This tree is five (5) years old and our oldest to date. These fruits, called samaras, appear in early Spring and before the tree begins producing leaves. From a distance the numerous fruits could be mistaken to leaves, but a close-up look reveals thick clusters of immature fruits, which are considered edible.
In just a couple of weeks, these light green fruits will turn pale yellow, detach themselves from the branches, fly off, get all over everything and carpet the ground like falling petals. Just don’t let the magical sight distract and flatter you, as these seeds have the tendency of germinating wherever they land. They grow on various types of soil, they are drought tolerant, cold hardy and for these reasons and many more, they are considered invasive.
Elm Branches and Clusters of Fruits.Elm Branches and Clusters of Fruits.Elm Branches and thick Clusters of Fruits (samaras).
There is a vast selection of trees to choose from, but finding the right one for your garden can be though. For me, there are many factors I consider such as location, exposure, types of soil, hardiness zone, rodents activities, insect and disease susceptibility, tree size, growth rate, etc. Personally, I think rodents are the most difficult to deal with as they are capable of destroying a healthy tree.
The light rains and low temperatures have softened the dirt and encouraged weed growth. It’s time to get out and pull out those weeds before they get out of control.
“Forgiveness is above all a personal choice, a decision of the heart to go against natural instinct to pay back evil with evil.” — Pope John Paul II
As a teenager, I often heard my mother say that some people are born without conscience. I knew she said it to ease some of my pain and to get me started on my healing journey. Life as we know is and will always remain a mystery; what I know for sure however, is that people are born equal and heredity sets us apart. Everyone has a conscience which allows us to act on our choices and decision making. Once in a while, my mom would repeat that statement as we jokingly poked at the past, and somehow it just infuriates me now.
As a child, I was a third-party observer to constant intentional psychological, emotional and physical abuse toward someone very dear to me-from someone I loved and trusted. By the time I became a teenager, I was scarred by those horrendous, repeated acts of violence. I was still a child, weak and helpless, who knew the corrupt system couldn’t help me and worst, would conspire against me. I went from a third-party observer to an actual victim. While living daily through extreme fear and uncertainty, the trauma of my sister’s sudden and unexpected death left me in a dark place. I was alone with an unstable mind, going through a deep depression. I was literally a walking dead …
For months, I was consumed by anger, mainly towards myself for being weak. I sought help and was blessed by the generosity of some and the invaluable advice of others. After witnessing my mother slip into a deep depression herself, as she struggled not only to cope with the death of her child, but also to keep me alive, I made the conscious decision to forgive my offender in order for both my mother and myself to live. What was done was done and I could not change that. The only thing I could do was to let go of the pain and chose to live. I made that choice willingly and reinvented myself. To this day I never received an apology and I do not expect one. I am much happier and more understanding now.
“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.” — Louise Hay
It’s extremely hard to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us and refuses to make amends, especially when every single cell in your body screams for retribution. It’s a feeling I know too well, since I survived it and came out stronger than ever. What can forgiveness do for you?
Too many of us have been thought that forgiving someone who has hurt us is a sign of weakness, and doing so gives the person more control over us. We have been thought that getting even with the perpetrator is the only way, if not the best way to regain our peace. Though two wrongs have never made a right, sometimes given a person a taste of their own medicine can redirect them to the right direction. This has nothing to do with revenge, but assisting someone in walking in your shoes. It’s about aiding someone to see the World through your lenses. Revenge, as the dictionary defines it, is to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, especially in a resentful or vindictive spirit. Though tempting, we should not contemplate revenge for the following reasons:
It doesn’t ease the hurt
It doesn’t return things to their original state
The satisfaction is temporary
It leaves you bitter and empty
It’s an endless nightmare
In the end, it can be punishable by law
You cannot change the past and you cannot force your offender to restore your peace. You alone have the power to heal your wounds by embracing yourself as you are. It takes time to heal and while going through the process, choose to forgive yourself and choose to love yourself again.
After some time has passed, you will realize that your offender’s apologies wouldn’t have made a difference. They hurt you deeply, perhaps willingly or unwillingly and may have achieved their goal (to destabilize you). However, none of that matters. Yes, the hurt remains. How you respond to injustice done to you will determine the outcome of the well-being (restoring your peace sooner or slowing down your healing process).
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” — Catherine Ponder
Do not make excuses to shield yourself from what happen. Do not attempt to understand why it happened and do not expect an explanation or an apology. Just acknowledge that it happened. Take back control of your life and do not hold unto your past and your pain. You are no longer a victim and you are no longer a slave to those memories. Believe that you will get through it.
Mon enfant nue sur les galets
Le vent dans tes cheveux défaits
Comme un printemps sur mon trajet
Un diamant tombé d’un coffret
Seule la lumière pourrait
Défaire nos repères secrets
Ou mes doigts pris sur tes poignets
Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai
Et quoi que tu fasses
L’amour est partout où tu regardes
Dans les moindres recoins de l’espace
Dans le moindre rêve où tu t’attardes
L’amour comme s’il en pleuvait
Nu sur les galets
Le ciel prétend qu’il te connaît
Il est si beau c’est sûrement vrai
Lui qui ne s’approche jamais
Je l’ai vu pris dans tes filets
Le monde a tellement de regrets
Tellement de choses qu’on promet
Une seule pour laquelle je suis fait
Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai
Et quoi que tu fasses
L’amour est partout où tu regardes
Dans les moindres recoins de l’espace
Dans le moindre rêve où tu t’attardes
L’amour comme s’il en pleuvait
Nu sur les galets
On s’envolera du même quai
Les yeux dans les mêmes reflets
Pour cette vie et celle d’après
Tu seras mon unique projet
Je m’en irai poser tes portraits
À tous les plafonds de tous les palais
Sur tous les murs que je trouverai
Et juste en dessous j’écrirai
Que seule la lumière pourrait…
Et mes doigts pris sur tes poignets
Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai
I woke up this morning to find my neighbors’ large trampoline hanging halfway into our property, breaking a couple of wood panels as it rested on the top rail. Had the fence not been there, the damage would have been significant. As fun as trampolines can be, they can also pose serious dangers. Please, secure your trampolines to prevent them from blowing away.
We have had very strong winds lately, unlike the previous years. I have always been wary about this trampoline from the moment they moved it to their backyard. It was never secured and it was a little too close to our side. In the front yard, thankfully, only a few branches from their unattended pine trees broke and fell on our side. I guess Nature is finding ways to keep us busy and engaged during quarantine.
Trampoline halfway through fence.
Some rain showers at last! Not as much as we would have loved, but enough to revive the plants and keep them hydrated. Early in the week we had our first wave of light snow followed by a mix of rain and snow the following days. I am so grateful it only lasted a day or two and melted in no time.
Light coating of snow.
There is nothing new around the garden as most plants are still dormant.
The Gopher plants are doing extremely well, with new growth emerging from the center of the plant. I am so excited and looking forward to see the clusters of chartreuse yellow flowers this Spring.
Gopher Plants.
Nandina Nana, also known as Dwarf Heavenly Bamboo is one of my favorite plants for Winter color. A small evergreen dwarf bush with vivid green foliage that turns brilliant red in Fall and persists into the Winter.
Dwarf Heavenly Bamboo.
One of the last Yuccas on my property. Yucca is a drought-tolerant plant; however, if constantly watered and properly fertilized, this plant could take over your garden and become a nuisance (if planted straight into the ground). It took us months to completely remove roots and rhizomes from my yard.
I saved a few young plants which I am growing in pots. I have been clipping the tips of the sword-like leaves to prevent injuries. I remove dead leaves from the Yucca and prune it to help the plant stay healthy and give it a beautiful and neat appearance. Next weekend, if the weather permits, I will be cutting back the ornamental grasses.
Yucca Pendula.
Ground Squirrels in the neighborhood are coming out of hibernation and becoming active. I have destroyed two large holes in the backyard and I am getting the traps ready (the sooner they get caught, the better).
By JM Perez
